A couple of months ago, I had visited a friend. It was the first time we'd seen each other, and I was excited. As usual, I had an imago of his soul in my head, and since he was an HSP, there were more than a couple of familiar ties- or so I thought.
We had virtually (email, sms, skype) known each other for more than half a year, and flirted via skype, too. I knew he was quite a bit younger than me, but that is not necessarily a problem. I have dated people twice my age AND up to then years younger, so age isn't always a guarantee for maturity.
Long story short: We went to a festival (afternoon), which I disliked. Disgusted by stone drunk and stoned young people pissing onto the lawn in the nude, fucking around. I just thought: if that is the future..good god.
Pissed off by the horribly bad management that had thrown away the bag I had deposited at the gate when I left (shall I sue you, fucker?- after all it contained food for him, he is very thin..)- I think I have a bit of experience in that field and the management WAS unable there. Anyways. He had told me he d hoped to meet a girl he liked there, which already was a slap in the face- but well. Thanks for respecting and cherishing me as a woman, having come all the way to see you in my state.
I got REALLY pissed off when I realized the body language and behaviour of his so-called best friends, all surfer types (he is the ugly nerd type- sorry.). They were ok when he was there, but as soon as attractive girls joined the round, they all excluded him from the circle. He tried to take part, but all his comments were ignored. That got me foaming..what was worse the girls they were lusting after were (too) thin, one openly talked about her therapy and the meds she took on her way back..in short: they werent females, they were plastic fuck-me-dolls without any further intelligence (or their brains had been washed away by the drugs).
It just drove me mad..I am watching, but this combination of stupidities, drugs, insanity and dumb group behaviour AND excluding him was just too much for me to bear, with all the emotions washed up during that time. I can cope with being rejected (which ran along the lines of verbatim: "I have watched you, and I am not ready for a strong woman yet"- he really said that!), I already know that the world is fucked up beyond imagination..It is just sad to see all those kids fucking up, and pathetic, too..and we already know most people are dumb enough to follow the game they were taught:one against the other"..being suggested its one to win. N.O.P.E. Serious disappointment here for you.
So, eventually, I started shouting and screaming at them, going on at how pathetic and fucked up, and dependant on surrogates and superficialties they are. I rarely flip out in public. It would take years of torture, usually. But I just had it.
Now, guys,...no matter what your age..do NOT go on bragging about the length of your dick and your intelligence when it is actually just a faint attempt to cover your insecurities and depravation earned by the wrong kinds of friends..stick to people who really care about you. Hadnt I cared, had I left the very moment it became clear we arent a match, relationship-wise.
Do NOT put up a macho or a cold fish or a "I am so cool and untouchably great" front in front of me. I am not playing immature games. Rejection is bad, and that goes for him AND me, but there are the rare people to find that are indeed friends. As for me, I doubt there are any real ons here for me, apart from three persons right now- and some more in the periphery. They are really good people, some with their faults, but those dont concern me. Some perfect.
And, as for perfect..it is a matter of definition. No- scratch this. When you feel they are good at what they do, help other, friendly and life-loving..they are perfect. No matter their looks, job, background..
I have had an exposure of the worst of what mankind is able to do very early. In very many ways. I have immersed myself heavily into people psychology and my own ever since I was 9 years of age.
There is this dumb since unreflected sentence I often get: "oh, you arent without fault, either.". NO. Wrong.
We are all born perfect, we are made into cripples and victims of some kind by others shortly after that. I just dont accept that, and I am lucid enough to see and not to want that. I am faultless, like many others. Why? Because I DENY myself the position of a victim. Because this fight is necessary. Otherwise, we will all go down and under. Never stop working on a better world.
If you want to stick to the rules of how ure thought/conditioned to think..FINE. Just dont exspect me to take part in them, cuz its getting painful for me to watch. And I already have experienced way too much pain in my life.
Goodbye, Rob.
We had virtually (email, sms, skype) known each other for more than half a year, and flirted via skype, too. I knew he was quite a bit younger than me, but that is not necessarily a problem. I have dated people twice my age AND up to then years younger, so age isn't always a guarantee for maturity.
Long story short: We went to a festival (afternoon), which I disliked. Disgusted by stone drunk and stoned young people pissing onto the lawn in the nude, fucking around. I just thought: if that is the future..good god.
Pissed off by the horribly bad management that had thrown away the bag I had deposited at the gate when I left (shall I sue you, fucker?- after all it contained food for him, he is very thin..)- I think I have a bit of experience in that field and the management WAS unable there. Anyways. He had told me he d hoped to meet a girl he liked there, which already was a slap in the face- but well. Thanks for respecting and cherishing me as a woman, having come all the way to see you in my state.
I got REALLY pissed off when I realized the body language and behaviour of his so-called best friends, all surfer types (he is the ugly nerd type- sorry.). They were ok when he was there, but as soon as attractive girls joined the round, they all excluded him from the circle. He tried to take part, but all his comments were ignored. That got me foaming..what was worse the girls they were lusting after were (too) thin, one openly talked about her therapy and the meds she took on her way back..in short: they werent females, they were plastic fuck-me-dolls without any further intelligence (or their brains had been washed away by the drugs).
It just drove me mad..I am watching, but this combination of stupidities, drugs, insanity and dumb group behaviour AND excluding him was just too much for me to bear, with all the emotions washed up during that time. I can cope with being rejected (which ran along the lines of verbatim: "I have watched you, and I am not ready for a strong woman yet"- he really said that!), I already know that the world is fucked up beyond imagination..It is just sad to see all those kids fucking up, and pathetic, too..and we already know most people are dumb enough to follow the game they were taught:one against the other"..being suggested its one to win. N.O.P.E. Serious disappointment here for you.
So, eventually, I started shouting and screaming at them, going on at how pathetic and fucked up, and dependant on surrogates and superficialties they are. I rarely flip out in public. It would take years of torture, usually. But I just had it.
Now, guys,...no matter what your age..do NOT go on bragging about the length of your dick and your intelligence when it is actually just a faint attempt to cover your insecurities and depravation earned by the wrong kinds of friends..stick to people who really care about you. Hadnt I cared, had I left the very moment it became clear we arent a match, relationship-wise.
Do NOT put up a macho or a cold fish or a "I am so cool and untouchably great" front in front of me. I am not playing immature games. Rejection is bad, and that goes for him AND me, but there are the rare people to find that are indeed friends. As for me, I doubt there are any real ons here for me, apart from three persons right now- and some more in the periphery. They are really good people, some with their faults, but those dont concern me. Some perfect.
And, as for perfect..it is a matter of definition. No- scratch this. When you feel they are good at what they do, help other, friendly and life-loving..they are perfect. No matter their looks, job, background..
I have had an exposure of the worst of what mankind is able to do very early. In very many ways. I have immersed myself heavily into people psychology and my own ever since I was 9 years of age.
There is this dumb since unreflected sentence I often get: "oh, you arent without fault, either.". NO. Wrong.
We are all born perfect, we are made into cripples and victims of some kind by others shortly after that. I just dont accept that, and I am lucid enough to see and not to want that. I am faultless, like many others. Why? Because I DENY myself the position of a victim. Because this fight is necessary. Otherwise, we will all go down and under. Never stop working on a better world.
If you want to stick to the rules of how ure thought/conditioned to think..FINE. Just dont exspect me to take part in them, cuz its getting painful for me to watch. And I already have experienced way too much pain in my life.
Goodbye, Rob.
