Ok.. it wasnt like ALL of them were so bad (of course my English and Munich birthdays were ok), but most. And I wanted to make a point. I have had too much suffering in my life, and the past two years being dragged through hell again, having to re-live all of this for the millionth time, and being backstabbed by so many negative people just for the sake of it wasn't ok. It just wasn't, and it will be remembered. And I need a good birthday, for once. Which will then keep with me for a long time. Like love once lived remains.
Anyways.. hormones are striking. As I am messing around with my "affair" of sorts (and I am the relationship type, but then.. sometimes it is difficult..), Peter is dating as well, and he had a pretty bad day, it seems. ;D Well.. it is hard, when after a long time of abstinency you're feeling a hormonal rush again- and cannot help thinking about sex (when the woman in question seems unreachable). Likewise, I tried to calm myself down by going for a swim, with and without Peter (I am now official his "niece"-type of friend, at least we came to this conclusion trying to find a definition outside of "daughter"), and arguing with Thomas, the guy I am dating. On and off. It IS difficult.. he is somewhat the total opposite of what I am looking for, but I have a good gut feeling concerning him, more friendship-based (even though Peter says he gives him the creeps, somehow). At least he does me some good, on a very basic level, and that is some improvement, for a start. We'l see if I want to continue it.. Thomas is still fully immersed in his ex relationship, and told me about her for an hour today. Hm. I am going to listen to my intuition, progressing further in life.
In any case I am relaxed.. which is a huge step in the right direction.. not relaxed all the time, but mostly. Guess that is hormones, too. :)
Anyways.. hormones are striking. As I am messing around with my "affair" of sorts (and I am the relationship type, but then.. sometimes it is difficult..), Peter is dating as well, and he had a pretty bad day, it seems. ;D Well.. it is hard, when after a long time of abstinency you're feeling a hormonal rush again- and cannot help thinking about sex (when the woman in question seems unreachable). Likewise, I tried to calm myself down by going for a swim, with and without Peter (I am now official his "niece"-type of friend, at least we came to this conclusion trying to find a definition outside of "daughter"), and arguing with Thomas, the guy I am dating. On and off. It IS difficult.. he is somewhat the total opposite of what I am looking for, but I have a good gut feeling concerning him, more friendship-based (even though Peter says he gives him the creeps, somehow). At least he does me some good, on a very basic level, and that is some improvement, for a start. We'l see if I want to continue it.. Thomas is still fully immersed in his ex relationship, and told me about her for an hour today. Hm. I am going to listen to my intuition, progressing further in life.
In any case I am relaxed.. which is a huge step in the right direction.. not relaxed all the time, but mostly. Guess that is hormones, too. :)
