"Listening", in Castaneda, means to be attentive to what the universe wants to communicate to you. Most People are deaf to that, yet it is so obvious. Werner Rydl, who thought I was unteachable, never understood that what he tried to teach me, I already knew.
Just that I I didn't want to adapt methods and means that were too dark for my Feeling. Most Castaneda magicians rank under the Header "black magicians" in my mind. I DID listen to everything he tought me, and tried out some Things at which I was quite apt. Also saying I think it is quite rare for a Girl to be taught by two Castaneda magicians in succession but ok.
In essence, all the great men didnt listen. Not to listen to me.. that can be forgiven. Not having listened to the cosm.. that is a serious felony. Not kidding. I am sure Gifi Fields must have understood, in retrospect, what he lost in a sense of Adventure and new experiences, after I was gone. I am also sure he'd never admit to it. It is so easy to tell me to my face that "you have a screw loose" when everything I told him was true. He had to admit to that, too. Yet I was the crazy one. Nevermind.
"That's weird." said the Vice- Dean. "The colleagues who just left.. we were talking about the same Thing, menial Student Jobs, just a second ago..".
Not weird at all, I thought. I HAVE been posting this in the upper realm so to speak before I went to see you. I NEED this Job, a useful Job that doesnt put me in the Spotlight yet gives me a stable income for until I leave or graduate. It IS necessary, and when I really am in Need (which, for everyone who knows me.. MUST be a dire Need) I DO use my powers and ask for help. Which is when synchronicities will naturally happen. I see them, the other side doesnt always.
The cosm always gives me what I ask for.. we are one. Only for a year or two in my life have we been separated. I had a Job to do, Long ago.. many great men put me down for their own small gain or interests, it was just the humans. It was never the cosm. The cosm is my home, the home I will return to one day.. hoping I'll never have to come back. Ever.
I've had too much of humanity, especially here.
Just that I I didn't want to adapt methods and means that were too dark for my Feeling. Most Castaneda magicians rank under the Header "black magicians" in my mind. I DID listen to everything he tought me, and tried out some Things at which I was quite apt. Also saying I think it is quite rare for a Girl to be taught by two Castaneda magicians in succession but ok.
In essence, all the great men didnt listen. Not to listen to me.. that can be forgiven. Not having listened to the cosm.. that is a serious felony. Not kidding. I am sure Gifi Fields must have understood, in retrospect, what he lost in a sense of Adventure and new experiences, after I was gone. I am also sure he'd never admit to it. It is so easy to tell me to my face that "you have a screw loose" when everything I told him was true. He had to admit to that, too. Yet I was the crazy one. Nevermind.
"That's weird." said the Vice- Dean. "The colleagues who just left.. we were talking about the same Thing, menial Student Jobs, just a second ago..".
Not weird at all, I thought. I HAVE been posting this in the upper realm so to speak before I went to see you. I NEED this Job, a useful Job that doesnt put me in the Spotlight yet gives me a stable income for until I leave or graduate. It IS necessary, and when I really am in Need (which, for everyone who knows me.. MUST be a dire Need) I DO use my powers and ask for help. Which is when synchronicities will naturally happen. I see them, the other side doesnt always.
The cosm always gives me what I ask for.. we are one. Only for a year or two in my life have we been separated. I had a Job to do, Long ago.. many great men put me down for their own small gain or interests, it was just the humans. It was never the cosm. The cosm is my home, the home I will return to one day.. hoping I'll never have to come back. Ever.
I've had too much of humanity, especially here.
