Exciting.

My first Logotherapy session (the lady is an expert in breathwork as well)- and that yielded one especially interesting insight. She said to me: "Your voice isn't broken at all. At least not 80% of the time. :) But did you notice that when you talk about your art, and what you wanna do that your voice works really fine and sits where its supposed to be in the body..and then, all of a sudden, you're talking about your situation here, and the burnout..and it totally shifts?". Well..yep. you've got it! I hadn't noticed that, but it's not much of a surprise there, either. :) But, of course, despite my management experience, hands- on attitude and expertise they won't let me do it and try to pathologise me instead. And, with all my accumulated issues (ALL of them home-made..) I simply cannot take the job center's advice and "work on my hobby in my spare-time".

AUSTRIA= PATHOGENIC FOR ARTISTS.

Simple Formula. Many years of hands-on experience.

I went to a (yet another) crowdfunding workshop yesterday. The financing of my first video (not much left that is needed- only the catering for the students, and maybe styling assistance, and some travel costs..at most 1000 Euros) might be possible via that. But it costs energy- energy I do not have as yet.

I gained some valuable insights into stage design, and music psychology only recently- and even though the notion of crowdfunding here in Austria is laughable..even the crowdfunding expert admitted that on stage yesterday..I learned a couple of things yesterday. Mainly from the Swedish and British speakers. :) No surprise here yet again.

E. (S.! from now on) and me decided to change from lovers to friends. It is better that way- much better for him. I also decided to- since this blog will be the background fro both my future crowdfunding AND book projects- to involve people/my readers a bit more. This blog has rising reader numbers (which is nice to watch, THANKS;)- and people in my life can now choose how they want to be named in this blog. :) Simply write me an e-mail.

I know that R3 wasn't happy with that name..and there are growing numbers of men in my life that resemble the character of Kyle Reese from Terminator, so I can only give away that name once. ;)

@Exciting now that I finally get to it: my work on the Alternate Lives TV show (a docu cum talkshow format) is getting quite exciting. It is MUCH more work than exspected to gain the financial data for it- but it is promising to be rewarded. To be honest, I doubt that any TV channel here will take it- maybe not even a German one. BUT..I am going to prepare it for the future to come. So that the day I have SOME success, somewhere outside of Austria, most likely, I am going to have my stuff ready.

St. Stephen's- different cause

Because I moved and a prolongation of my social pay was due last month, the social dept. fucked up regarding my social pay. seems like despite the fact they have an online system, too- something happened to my file on its way from one district to the other. Resulting in two more weeks more waiting time until I get the money (at least the part that is being paid out by the job center- unemployment pay). Plus last month saw a medical bill to be paid and a deposit. Impossible inclusive a bank rate, when you get 500 Notstandshilfe and 273 Social pay.

A financial desaster. So I went to the Caritas at St. Stephen's cathedral, waited patiently for 1,5 hours for a 5 Euro shopping voucher for food. I comforted whoever was around emotionally- it seemed necessary though was unpleasant. I realized Toni Faber was back from holiday (I spotted him once) and pondered talking to him about a possible performance idea and a photo together (for the press). I thought the idea was pretty cool. :)

In the meantime, the others were given money (they do that as well, in some cases- and it is very often given to people so instable they know they won't use it to clear their debts times over)- and when it was on me..I told Ms Auersberg (the woman in charge) my pay had been prolonged that I had a medical bill to pay for (or transport to the burnout clinic and one bottle of medicine), had had to pay a deposit the month before, was in further education and amidst a burnout. Normally, obviously someone with a degree wouldnt even be seen in places like these.

She told me straight away: "Go and work". I was flabbergasted. Hadn't she HEARD??? I mean, like..burnout, in further education (so busy during the week!), it's a one off thing and a voucher they have plenty and get for free????????????????!!!!!!!!!!????????????????

I then felt the urge to tell her that MY burnout was also due to excessive work- among it a lot of charity work aside my studies that I very often did not have enough energy for but felt was necessary (Rotary, SBZ, etc.).

This is what you get when you are good in Austria. This is what you get here. In the church. Pussy Riot, where are you? :D Seriously. Times like these I understand them.^^..even though I am friendly.