A Wedding and a Funeral.

I am most happy to declare that my broken heart is finally healing! And who would have thought. 

I fell in love with a man, had my heart badly broken the second time around, almost died, went through hell and back- and recovered. 

This guy though, unlike Raphael, had the balls to talk it out with me. SO HELPFUL. And after a hard time back and forth for me, I have now reached a state of bliss. My old me- the one that is balanced and kind and that cares predominantly about true love. 

And that could still mean no sex, just friendship, or a complete separation. I've missed it- it has taken me 11 years to heal from that disaster that caused autoimmune and screwed up my whole life.   

I also changed my job- the mobbing got so bad it became necessary. Being vastly underpaid is one thing. Mobbing is another- so I quit. We will see what happens. 

:)

Getting better emotionally.

 Watching another one of my favourite movies: Legally Blonde. (and tbh I really love Reese Witherspoon anyway- she is a great actress.)

It is a movie about a really dumb guy. ;)

(Not a fan of the musical.)

On a different note: I really miss the "love" button on YouTube. Its just my favourite emotion.

What IS love..

 .. is what we had that evening. 

VERY.

 

Scouting

 Me and Lara our Video and Graphic Design intern went nuts, scouting Tallinn for Streetart as a background for the AM photoshoot (we need a few professional pics).

Tallinn has A LOT of beautiful street art- mainly from South American artists (and a few Estonians). We couldn't stop. ;)

On my way, I also made a few photos from lovely old factories.

I am heavily biased towards all graffiti that features hearts- we even found one that says "Nothing but Love". :) 

this spring is weird..lovewise. so many men interested in me..I wonder how much longer my heart will be able to take that. I wear Raphael's ring around my neck..it helps me focus, focus on what is real interest and what is not. Me and Michael decided to separate after a big argument- which isnt quite my style (emotional arguments). I just realized I felt overburdened by his lifestyle right now, and need (all of) my energy to focus on my project. I still love him. I hope it will grow into a friendship, or wither away peacefully. No idea what is happening with me right now..I sometimes don't recognize myself. Even though that does not mean I'll ever hurt anyone knowingly. Though it IS a hard one to keep the balance between different exspectations, wishes, dreams and paths.