Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts

Sunday, 24 November 2013

BDSM, Fetish, and Therapy.

I cannot believe I am involved in this, once again.. Peter is dating a lot of women his age on the side, who all have issues with sexuality. (issues that go way beyond the natural inhibition one might have when sleeping with a new partner, or anything on that level).

I have always had friends practising, I have always met people who wanted to draw me into things, convince me or deform me. The point is: do what you like, but leave me out. When a friend asks me to help him get ideas for that, though, and link him up with others, it is hard to leave him out in the rain. Thank god I remembered two source3s on the internet, one with BDSM stories a friend (who unfortunately practises, and is a dominus) once recommended me, and another one I found when researching on the matter.

The latter is one I am actually able to recommend, because they seem to understand the underlying issues: a body and a soul in need of therapy. Not conventional (with my experiences, I find this version better than the usual psychological "treatement" or "therapy", actually- even though s/m makes you addicted in most cases, which is something I have witnessed as well in others), but applied.

Those are often people who are lonely or with abuse issues, who use s/m as a tool to discover themselves, their boundaries, and very often use it for basic things, like learning to feel again. Generally, I would encourage them, I just think it is ugly, and can be done in more loving, open-minded, gentle ways. I don't like s/m or BDSM or whatever. And as a teenager, I read a lot about it, talked to many goths and practising people, and hung around with them. (and at that point until 23, I was still a virgin, so that was a strange coupling, which nevertheless worked because I generally like people and like listening to them).

What I do not like about the portal is though that recently, after some cool courses, like group fighting, they seem to take spiritual stuff into it, which is .. sorry, guys. Just NO. Sure, as it says in the text, enlightenment requires facing ones darkness, or ones past, but that can be done entirely on the inside. I spent years pondering it.. and the problem is when you use sex as a tool, and another person as a tool for your own growth, it will have side effects and get ugly. I cannot support that..

it is as ugly and fucked up as that Lady Gaga song: "you can't have my soul but you can do what you want with my body.."- kind of. Ugly and retarded, cuz.. if you are sharing such an intense physical experience as sex with someone, and are unable to love, or unwilling to let him (or her) in and build something beautiful with it, then sorry: are you an ape or a human?

This aspect is what gets me mad when people see my costumes and automatically think they are BDSM. They could not be further away from that. Therapy: yes, that is much needed. Everything else wrapped into it (despite the reality that many are detached, lonely and sexually starved): NO.

Why not? It will just reproduce the unloving, distorted patterns this world has adapted to for too long. s/m might shortly work, but then you become addicted, and addiction is never good. I myself want to be all floating love, in my home. With or without a partner, if I cannot find anyone suitable. The soul, after all, is ethereal, and sex is a nice add to to a relationship, sometimes more, sometimes less, but it is not the main thing in my mind. And I am hungry, too. I just don't compromise.