Robbie Fields asked me why I would feel the need to intellectualize wearing a mask.
I think I have to explain this here, as this seems to be a very common misunderstanding regarding my personality by others.
I do not "feel the need to intellectualize" things. ^^..
I am neither de-tached, nor am I attached to a great deal. Sure, I have a human body that aches and feels pain- and that is rarely pleasant upon happening. :) I used to be detached- and I have felt what it is like to be attached to something.
But- and that is the point here- wearing a mask is not fueling some kind of unconscious desire. It was an intellectual construction RIGHT FROM THE START (and my teacher suggested to write a concept in my course).
The fact that masks carry their own kinds of powers (which arent 'mystical' at all- they just preserve (like minerals, by the way- but not as long and in such concentration) fractions of life. In this specific version- emotions. That is why they appear to be so strong.
I am very conscious of things (although, not yet as conscious as I would like to be, spiritually)- also, my own fears and desires of being a human. But they are still very limited to very short periods of "letting myself go"..as I am always- and this is not a paradox- attached and detached at the same time. :)...
I had a wonderful dream last night. I was finally getting close to (more of) my kind. Of people. And I am looking forward to it- very much. When I was 19, I decided to become as human as possible..just to take the non obvious way rarely tread. I am not sure still whether it was a mistake or not. :D..so far, despite the obstacles on it- I liked it somehow.
I just get a little frustrated watching people push out unnecessary bullshit just for the sake of it so often. I just dont quite understand it (or, say: my understanding never seems to exceed understanding fractions of it). And I possibly never will.
...
