some lines among the 320 pages of lyrics or more I have written so far. Most of them wait to be made into songs as yet. I regenerate- and will soon be able to pick off where I left at. Almost able to write really well in english..^^..well by my standards.. :)..which still means a long way to go.
Even Robbie Fields (Posh Boy Records) liked some of my lines, so there is hope..*gg..and he is hated for commenting on song lyrics..;D..yes, he isn't coy- so to speak. Anyways, I rewrote "Oh, Joan"- and will leave it as it is now..imperfect and clumsy- but with room for improvement.
The glamour side, just recently..hooked up with an old connaissance from last year. another seriously rich guy. much better than the ones before him..so there is hope for the future. He wanted to foster my project, and gave me a respectable sum to pay for props and makeup and so on..unfortunately, I made the mistake of sending him photos of me. He got horny- and I felt like a prostitute all of a sudden..not good. So I faked or half-faked an aggressive state of mind..usually the last test one has to pass in situations where I am just not sure what to make of the guy..and, as I exspected, he couldn't take it. I really liked him- but: no more older guys. Or only slightly older. Though I liked his wit, his creativity and phantasies, the fact that he HAD the money to offer the possibility to travel together..which I ache for and havent done too long. But..as I say..u're young, the guy is older and u're no money hooker..then u're sure to loose. So..no older guys anymore. And no young ones who are horny and cannot decide which girl to date first, either..;). So- goodbye, Vit.
Though- one never knows..if its a match, its a match. no matter what or how the circumstances. I resist the idea of selecting a (potential) mate after biological or material criteria..even though they become more important with age..as I get more superficial.
The gutter side..I talked to a drug-addict on substitutes with H.I.V. on the tube yesterday..checked out whether he needed food, sleep, clothes first..he stank like hell, and had two bloody wounds on his forehead..but he had a place, and had been to hospital, and all he needed was 15 euros for an emergeny recipe bill (it was sunday, and on a sunday the pharmacies cost extra). Reminded me of my time on the street last year.
It took me a long time to shake that/him off, emotionally. On my way home through the 3rd, as the Viennese say, district no.3 (1030 Wien), I wanted to shout and scream at and throw up in peoples faces..its one of the richest districts here- and people are left with important choices like.."shall I buy the LCD TV for 1200 or rather 2500 instead.."- while others are fucking dying in front of their eyes..this country is sick to the bone..and I just wanna LEAVE. ...
