..nice place, nice People. Looks good. Feels good to me. I am still unnerved by the counselor.
Maybe she is doing her best, but this woman.. is driving me nuts. Usually that doesnt happen.. but I do not have a lot of Patience anymore. I admit that.. especially when it Comes to People who talk, talk, talk.. dont get to the Point (occasionally that is no Problem.. but its the norm with her).. then assume they have told you the relevant parts.
Like: where and when to meet. And she doesnt. It is ANNOYING.
I am pretty sure it is my messed up Hormones (MCAS), and less spring as such. Also, with all the Trauma I had that I never really had the time or the space to deal with.. my angelic Patience with People has just really hit the Limits.
In Addition to that.. my relatives are plotting again. My mother and aunt/Cousin try to take their emotions towards me (havent seen them for years, but they dtill have all kinds of opinions on me..) out on my gran. My gran is over 90. And that makes me pissy- because it is the VERY last Thing I would do.
Hurt someone old and vulnerable.. nevermind my gran ist still a strong woman and kicks ass.
Just generally, Ive had it with People here. But I actually wanted to get to the Point. ;)
In Addition to mechatronics which starts in May, I am going to try patreon (generally speaking, my Network is big enough, and it should be possible to raise 360 Euros/month) for writing my book.
Since I am still very weak (and stabilizing my System will take), I am going to use that Money to dictate my biography to a bilingual Person, probably a Student. I can then take the 4-500 pages and shorten/rewrite them afterwards (I calculate it should take 3/4 to a year at 4 hours/weekend).
I want to write a Special book. But with my underlying neuroticism that gets stronger the more ill I get, I just NEED a good structure to work with. A very strong Framework.
That and it will be kathartic as well of course.. something I never wanted my art to be. I never wanted it to be personal, either. But, right now, I dont have a choice. I Need to heal, I Need Money, and I Need to deliver in a Situation where I cannot give much. So writing Comes in Handy.
Communication is so easy for me it doesnt take a lot of energy. And energy is crucial right now.
Maybe she is doing her best, but this woman.. is driving me nuts. Usually that doesnt happen.. but I do not have a lot of Patience anymore. I admit that.. especially when it Comes to People who talk, talk, talk.. dont get to the Point (occasionally that is no Problem.. but its the norm with her).. then assume they have told you the relevant parts.
Like: where and when to meet. And she doesnt. It is ANNOYING.
I am pretty sure it is my messed up Hormones (MCAS), and less spring as such. Also, with all the Trauma I had that I never really had the time or the space to deal with.. my angelic Patience with People has just really hit the Limits.
In Addition to that.. my relatives are plotting again. My mother and aunt/Cousin try to take their emotions towards me (havent seen them for years, but they dtill have all kinds of opinions on me..) out on my gran. My gran is over 90. And that makes me pissy- because it is the VERY last Thing I would do.
Hurt someone old and vulnerable.. nevermind my gran ist still a strong woman and kicks ass.
Just generally, Ive had it with People here. But I actually wanted to get to the Point. ;)
In Addition to mechatronics which starts in May, I am going to try patreon (generally speaking, my Network is big enough, and it should be possible to raise 360 Euros/month) for writing my book.
Since I am still very weak (and stabilizing my System will take), I am going to use that Money to dictate my biography to a bilingual Person, probably a Student. I can then take the 4-500 pages and shorten/rewrite them afterwards (I calculate it should take 3/4 to a year at 4 hours/weekend).
I want to write a Special book. But with my underlying neuroticism that gets stronger the more ill I get, I just NEED a good structure to work with. A very strong Framework.
That and it will be kathartic as well of course.. something I never wanted my art to be. I never wanted it to be personal, either. But, right now, I dont have a choice. I Need to heal, I Need Money, and I Need to deliver in a Situation where I cannot give much. So writing Comes in Handy.
Communication is so easy for me it doesnt take a lot of energy. And energy is crucial right now.
