Imagine you are a very smart girl, heavily into depth psychology as early as 9 years of age, and digging into art history, with a family tree in engineering maths and medicine (and some arts people).
a few years later.. it is 1999 and you are consumed, like many sensitive, gifted people are, by wanting to make the world a better place. you family, although (becoming) wealthy, is abusive and their behaviour false and full of intrigues and backstabbing. You yourself are strong and healthy and have figured out that this is not a good place you want to live in.
And you are fascinated by speakers and the biographies of famous people. The artist and some scientists like Marie Curie.. you figure out what they do to smart women (shame them, gossip heavily, drive some of them insane.. especially the artists.. and when they end up drugged or on the street or as prostitutes.. society will say they were crazy in the first place). you get so good in arts history you beat your evil father to the game one day. The backlash is massive.
So one day you use your precognition (some say visionary gift) to look into the future. You are heavily logical and not spiritual as yet but you accept natural as natural so do not reflect in depth on why you can do this.
You want to turn Hitler around. You see he had a gift that was used for the bad. You see those masses of people and think... WHAT IF one could turn the energy flowing towards that stage around. WHAT IF one could use a gift like that to enlighten instead of hurt and twist, and use it for the good..
You see how it could be done, but you dont know anything about life yet. But youve found your purpose. You spend years developing a concept based on archetypes, as a fun game for your brain.. an intellectual possibility, as yet too shy to do something about it in public. You also know that if you utter these ideas, not just within your family, but also outside, they would lock you up.
So you keep quiet, you keep on learning, you watch the apes hurt others and help quietly, when and wherever needed.
One day, graduation is close, you start a series of salt tank sessions. You are a lot older now, you have explored martial arts, Eastern philosophy et al.. passed through the complete cycle of archetypes more than once.. forgiven everyone.. broken free. You ARE whole and you are free. And you know you can pass it on to others.
You meditate deeply, and ask God, the cosm, whatever you call the soup of atoms we swim in that is fueled by divine light.. is it good. Can I do this. Shall I do this.
And the answer is yes. So you set out to create art in public, and hell follows. This blog has documented my last 10 years, going from a happy healthy person to someone with autoimmune. Which can be healed. And No it wasnt karma. Just free will used for the bad.
I didnt die.. but what I went through would have killed most people. I survived because I have the divine calling me to do what I must.
And I try my best to, still. I have no reason to.. but as they say it is not about deserving.. it is a CHOICE. I personally have long lost my love for and faith in most of humanity. You kill your future, then bitch about how bad life is like the shit you are.
All I ever had to answer to was GOD. The divine you neglect, deny and kill on an every day base. With it, you kill yourself. Tat twam asi. This is you, as the Buddhists say.
I recently applied for superangel investment funds, was turned down. Spoke to karma.vc, investors werent interested. I have hope though.
My invention/ as a consumer product, outside of the stage now, could help many. It might still be hard to do with sensor tech alone, but I am confident we will get there.
P.s. update 9.9.2019: in the meantime I got invited to wear it Berlin, and found a specialist who works on exactly that. He is willing to cooperate, but the problem are funds.
a few years later.. it is 1999 and you are consumed, like many sensitive, gifted people are, by wanting to make the world a better place. you family, although (becoming) wealthy, is abusive and their behaviour false and full of intrigues and backstabbing. You yourself are strong and healthy and have figured out that this is not a good place you want to live in.
And you are fascinated by speakers and the biographies of famous people. The artist and some scientists like Marie Curie.. you figure out what they do to smart women (shame them, gossip heavily, drive some of them insane.. especially the artists.. and when they end up drugged or on the street or as prostitutes.. society will say they were crazy in the first place). you get so good in arts history you beat your evil father to the game one day. The backlash is massive.
So one day you use your precognition (some say visionary gift) to look into the future. You are heavily logical and not spiritual as yet but you accept natural as natural so do not reflect in depth on why you can do this.
You want to turn Hitler around. You see he had a gift that was used for the bad. You see those masses of people and think... WHAT IF one could turn the energy flowing towards that stage around. WHAT IF one could use a gift like that to enlighten instead of hurt and twist, and use it for the good..
You see how it could be done, but you dont know anything about life yet. But youve found your purpose. You spend years developing a concept based on archetypes, as a fun game for your brain.. an intellectual possibility, as yet too shy to do something about it in public. You also know that if you utter these ideas, not just within your family, but also outside, they would lock you up.
So you keep quiet, you keep on learning, you watch the apes hurt others and help quietly, when and wherever needed.
One day, graduation is close, you start a series of salt tank sessions. You are a lot older now, you have explored martial arts, Eastern philosophy et al.. passed through the complete cycle of archetypes more than once.. forgiven everyone.. broken free. You ARE whole and you are free. And you know you can pass it on to others.
You meditate deeply, and ask God, the cosm, whatever you call the soup of atoms we swim in that is fueled by divine light.. is it good. Can I do this. Shall I do this.
And the answer is yes. So you set out to create art in public, and hell follows. This blog has documented my last 10 years, going from a happy healthy person to someone with autoimmune. Which can be healed. And No it wasnt karma. Just free will used for the bad.
I didnt die.. but what I went through would have killed most people. I survived because I have the divine calling me to do what I must.
And I try my best to, still. I have no reason to.. but as they say it is not about deserving.. it is a CHOICE. I personally have long lost my love for and faith in most of humanity. You kill your future, then bitch about how bad life is like the shit you are.
All I ever had to answer to was GOD. The divine you neglect, deny and kill on an every day base. With it, you kill yourself. Tat twam asi. This is you, as the Buddhists say.
I recently applied for superangel investment funds, was turned down. Spoke to karma.vc, investors werent interested. I have hope though.
My invention/ as a consumer product, outside of the stage now, could help many. It might still be hard to do with sensor tech alone, but I am confident we will get there.
P.s. update 9.9.2019: in the meantime I got invited to wear it Berlin, and found a specialist who works on exactly that. He is willing to cooperate, but the problem are funds.
