.. had honey beer in Peppersack restaurant today. I was invited by Aspasia (Welcome/Embrace), Eleftheria (Freedom) and another Greek lady whose name I have forgotten.
We talked about archetypes for two full hours, and they gave me some great feedback and ideas. They understood me.
We also talked about an old crush I had on Alexis Georgoulis (from back when I contacted him for a "stage" at the EU parliament)- I am sure by now half of Greece knows. ;D..
They told me to relocate to the country of attractive, dark-haired men and women and they are not far from Athens.. so we will definitely hang out more when I am there.
And then something happened.
--- --- --- ---
I usually GREATLY enjoy those tours that turn into time with new friends- that is, when I have the energy, of course. I was rested today, and the ladies were awesome. However, all of old town reminded me of him somehow, and when we were at the restaurant, I drank the honey beer because he had been there, alone, and had honey beer.
And I couldn't afford it otherwise, so I seized my chance. And as I sat there, I felt LONELY- amidst all those lovely people who appreciated my input. Just so lonely.
Now my problem is, as a Chinese grandmaster trained empath, that I am VERY receptive to my environment. When I love, I literally "melt" into the guy I love, and soak up all his essence. I am not really me for a while. This usually returns to normal in 2-3 weeks of exposure, and I might take a few new traits into my personality if they seem desirable.
Only once did I have the opposite: with Lena. Also a genius, but whilst Arsenijs for example doesn't "blend" over, she did. In really shocking to me ways. His sadness, a mild depression maybe, but more melancholia, also blended.
I am a happy and positive person, very few can rock me, and I overcome things fast. However, this sticks. For now. Maybe because I also feel sad- but I also had a very strange, direct access to him already on our third meeting. It just goes really deep.
As I said.. I had bad crushes on men- but NOONE but Raphael and this guy have really gotten close to my core. I am also risky for him, at various levels. He might not know it, but I am. So maybe it is best to stay away for now.
