Or, rather, my uncles house- and my makeshift bedroom (6). Plus one of my father's places across the yard (3 and 4). He did most of the interior work himself, but noone lives there (ok, my brother does an internship in the area and temporarily inhabits it now, plus he turned the cellar into a rehearsal room- he FINALLY starts to make music as well). Just like in many other objects he owns..apart from some places he rents out. What a waste of time, money, energy and overall..life and potential. Well- money cannot cover up for lack of SOUL, doesn't it. Arsehole.
They're all fucking crazy (the aunt and kids are quite ok, though)- and the 1,5 days I spent there were nightmarish- as ever. The nice garden and such won't hide the choleric outbursts (they think they are normal..even I feel ripped to shreds when I simply pass them by playing cards and shouting), the insults and their hidden secrets, their more or less subtle bitchings and intrigues (so plain to see for me). My gran told me things about my aunt that I did not want to hear, my aunt told me about their marriage problems from another angle, my uncle told me things I certainly don't wanna hear as a visitor insult-wise (that were totally void of sense and totally inappropriate). He needs to be very CAREFUL in the future.
I made attempts to sue my parents after decades of emotional, verbal, physical abuse and trauma. Serious stuff. Stuff miraculously noone has seen, stuff that has NEVER happened (of course). My lawyer sent a letter to my father, before we wanted to go to court. He laughed at it, my uncle a LAWYER (not involved..but worried about his reputation) aggressively confronted me in my gran's kitchen when he heard about it, and asked me: "What the fuck is it you want??!!???". I simply said: "Well, what do you think I want? I want JUSTICE." (note: that lawsuit was unlikely to yield a lot of money, for a variety of reasons..it was simply an attempt to slap them in their faces and wake them UP, for good).
Before I went there, I totally thought, naive as ever: "Maybe things HAVE changed a bit, maybe its better now.."- but it just never does get better. They are satisfied with their lifestyle- and I am the crazy nest-shitter.
I was supposed to stay for three days. I found out on the second day that my gran had paid my uncle 200 Euros for three days bed and breakfast (!). I was on a diet, I did cook my own stuff, was like a ghost (my aunt said: "the best guest ever, I dont even see you"), and had suggested I'd sleep in the (unused) garden house prior to my trip- just to mention that. My gran- who was the reason for my trip, she is quite old and ill, and I wanted to see her one more time- had asked them to offer me a bed in the myriads of rooms they have. So much space all cluttered with unnecessary furniture and stuff. I don't get people. Especially this crowd.
My uncle has to watch out. He makes me want to throw up- and when I mentioned that all the negative energy and shouting the prior evening had made me realize I certainly do no longer want that in my life..he said: "Watch out, think about who is feeding you". RIGHT. Be VERY careful, mate. I could only see ONE person doing that, if anyone- my gran. Who is a dark figure in her own right. I never ASKED to be in your house. I went there for HER, if anyone at all.
BULLSHIT LIKE THAT- out of my life. For once and for all. All those crazy nutters with too much money, too many self-built problems and emotional trauma and drama. This was the last time I came down to see them. Including my brother, who greeted me with an outburst of rage: "What the fuck are YOU doing here??!!??? We are rehearsing..get the fuck out.". Well- HELLO, Bro. Not this way. I could need a bassist and a drummer..but not that kind of negative bullshit.
...
They're all fucking crazy (the aunt and kids are quite ok, though)- and the 1,5 days I spent there were nightmarish- as ever. The nice garden and such won't hide the choleric outbursts (they think they are normal..even I feel ripped to shreds when I simply pass them by playing cards and shouting), the insults and their hidden secrets, their more or less subtle bitchings and intrigues (so plain to see for me). My gran told me things about my aunt that I did not want to hear, my aunt told me about their marriage problems from another angle, my uncle told me things I certainly don't wanna hear as a visitor insult-wise (that were totally void of sense and totally inappropriate). He needs to be very CAREFUL in the future.
I made attempts to sue my parents after decades of emotional, verbal, physical abuse and trauma. Serious stuff. Stuff miraculously noone has seen, stuff that has NEVER happened (of course). My lawyer sent a letter to my father, before we wanted to go to court. He laughed at it, my uncle a LAWYER (not involved..but worried about his reputation) aggressively confronted me in my gran's kitchen when he heard about it, and asked me: "What the fuck is it you want??!!???". I simply said: "Well, what do you think I want? I want JUSTICE." (note: that lawsuit was unlikely to yield a lot of money, for a variety of reasons..it was simply an attempt to slap them in their faces and wake them UP, for good).
Before I went there, I totally thought, naive as ever: "Maybe things HAVE changed a bit, maybe its better now.."- but it just never does get better. They are satisfied with their lifestyle- and I am the crazy nest-shitter.
I was supposed to stay for three days. I found out on the second day that my gran had paid my uncle 200 Euros for three days bed and breakfast (!). I was on a diet, I did cook my own stuff, was like a ghost (my aunt said: "the best guest ever, I dont even see you"), and had suggested I'd sleep in the (unused) garden house prior to my trip- just to mention that. My gran- who was the reason for my trip, she is quite old and ill, and I wanted to see her one more time- had asked them to offer me a bed in the myriads of rooms they have. So much space all cluttered with unnecessary furniture and stuff. I don't get people. Especially this crowd.
My uncle has to watch out. He makes me want to throw up- and when I mentioned that all the negative energy and shouting the prior evening had made me realize I certainly do no longer want that in my life..he said: "Watch out, think about who is feeding you". RIGHT. Be VERY careful, mate. I could only see ONE person doing that, if anyone- my gran. Who is a dark figure in her own right. I never ASKED to be in your house. I went there for HER, if anyone at all.
BULLSHIT LIKE THAT- out of my life. For once and for all. All those crazy nutters with too much money, too many self-built problems and emotional trauma and drama. This was the last time I came down to see them. Including my brother, who greeted me with an outburst of rage: "What the fuck are YOU doing here??!!??? We are rehearsing..get the fuck out.". Well- HELLO, Bro. Not this way. I could need a bassist and a drummer..but not that kind of negative bullshit.
...
