I had a long, hard talk with a gay friend of mine (who happened to date my sister long ago), and who now is a social worker (after a stint as a stage designer). He has a similar family history, and after his coming out (which wasnt taken too well, as one could imagine), he is working on staying out of family-related trouble as well.
As a result, I decided to cease even those irregular phone calls to my gran. It is necessary- and I made a mistake seeing her..or, rather, should have splashed out on a hotel- though my budget was seriously tight last week. An old friend of mine (from my homeless days) still owes me money, and I did not want to push him the week before..^^..Well. It would have been a good idea to at least stay outside and only go into town to see her. I thought it could work, seeing her once a year (and occasional coffee trips with my brother)- but the family would always seize that opportunity to be respectless- including them. So that is it..I tried to prepare her for it the past couple of times I saw her.."What if I was gone and this were the last time we could talk.."- and I have the feeling it is good now, and what was supposed to be said to her has all been said, for good.
Everybody notices that I have changed. My brother is old enough to cope, and I don't want to mix my and his music aspirations, anyways.
As for the rest of the family, they are well advised to stay out of my life- or else there will be (serious, legal) consequences. Period.
As a result, I decided to cease even those irregular phone calls to my gran. It is necessary- and I made a mistake seeing her..or, rather, should have splashed out on a hotel- though my budget was seriously tight last week. An old friend of mine (from my homeless days) still owes me money, and I did not want to push him the week before..^^..Well. It would have been a good idea to at least stay outside and only go into town to see her. I thought it could work, seeing her once a year (and occasional coffee trips with my brother)- but the family would always seize that opportunity to be respectless- including them. So that is it..I tried to prepare her for it the past couple of times I saw her.."What if I was gone and this were the last time we could talk.."- and I have the feeling it is good now, and what was supposed to be said to her has all been said, for good.
Everybody notices that I have changed. My brother is old enough to cope, and I don't want to mix my and his music aspirations, anyways.
As for the rest of the family, they are well advised to stay out of my life- or else there will be (serious, legal) consequences. Period.
