I got hit at A LOT in summer, and found it mildly annoying to be honest. There was an older Italian-Swiss guy who was very pleasant though, and him I would have considered.
WHY? He was polite, respectful, and- despite a hurt ankle from a marathon- tried his best to listen to me and accommodate me.
He also had a great business, that makes 3D-printed prosthetics for animals (cats and dogs mainly) and humans.
Then came A.B.
For some weird reason I thought he was my age- probably because he IS (soul-wise). He would also be what the black magic practising billionnaires (well 2 of the 3) would have termed "warrior/adept/mage". So was I- unfortunately for them, I am also good. And their shit won't work for me. And I don't look for their type of power over people, hence not my cup of tea.
Yet, weirdly- even though they were terrible and destructive AF in my life- and I couldn't be more different in lived values- I missed them today. It's all so much better than withering away in this dump- at least more alive somehow. I really feel like I am stuck in hell here, and I feel so trapped in this shithole at times.
No magic, no power, no real connection to the source. Not my level, anyways. It can't happen here.
WHY? Their "grid", aka Akasha matrix, aka collective subconscious, is a pitch black well, full of pain and no power. I do believe some of them believe their black crap yields some power (well black magic has fast intense effects- it also has side and after effects)- last year at the Arts Residency, I was educated on the Krott, a type of house spirit/demon that also gets innovated on the crossroads.
No self-respecting Hoodoo practitioner would do what they do. Just saying.
But, now, from this short excursion into practical magic back to my tours. So until A.B. came, I wasn't interested. Destiny gave us a few nice synchronicities, and a lovely very awkward moment on a bench. ;)
He kind of gently... forced.. me to join him after the tour, which I felt was too dominant and intrusive. Had I been less exhausted from flea bites and general drama, I would have happily accompanied him into whatever adventure destiny had planned for us. But I am somewhat always wrong- too fast, too slow, too something. Nevertheless, it developed (after a few moments of emotional overload on my part).
EVERYTIME I pass one of the three places in Tallinn we parted/sat/met, it is so strong. It's like that old magic has returned to my life in one giant wave that sweeps me up, and off my feet.
Thank god, the worst is over. Since he was the first of equal strength to Raphael in 12 years, I had to process all that was left from then and falling in love with him in a very short period. THANK GOD he is now also travelling, and despite me missing him very badly, and wanting to know more about him, this is maybe not so bad.
It gives me time to reflect, and will hopefully mellow down my emotions.
p.s. I recently had an awesome black Canadian tour guest, podcast host and crypto entrepreneur on my walk. I think he liked me too, BUT then this stunning Polish girl hit it up with him while we were eating at F-Hoone, and I recognised his destiny and left spontaneously. I think they had a VERY good time later. ;)
She was stunning, and I have no issue in matching people up with each other when it's A) destiny, and B) both are good people.
