Depeche Mode Baar

One thing I was very proud of: Finally managed to go to Depeche Mode Baar in Old Town. (29.12.2021, proof attached)

They only had alcohol on their menu- and I had "The Perfect Kiss". Too much alcohol for someone who doesn't drink, normally. 

But I watched A LOT of music videos that evening, and broadened my mind a little. Apart from the off-putting s/m influences (doesn't matter if the woman or the man is on top- power play in romance is the death of love), some videos were very creative- and I discovered a few very deep, romantic, well-written ballads I didn't know before. 

Like this one.

Yes- this might come as a surprise considering I am a music lover, yet to be honest.. 

Depeche Mode I want to listen to when I feel existential, or am looking for videos with men in leather pants online (men in black leather pants are great, just from a fashion and haptic aspect).

And a fun thing that evening: I don't save Mr. LeCocq's number anymore, so I, slightly drunk, sent some messages to the wrong number. The poor Estonian (or other) person who received that. It included an sms about how sexy men in black leather gear are. Oh my- I laughed. It was GLORIOUS. ;)

@Leather gear: Not the s/m type of great with studs necessarily.. but I have always liked: cashmere turtlenecks, suede leather (all colours), and sleek. black leather pants. My first boyfriend, a maths genius (multi-dimensional spaces) and early inventor in the IT/Telecomms space, preferred suede, leather and turtlenecks. Fit my style when younger. 

Used to have a lot of leather pants and skirts as well when more slim. Sigh.. Good Times (at least fashion-wise)!

 

Estonians and other monsters

 As a foreigner I am really unhappy that I always get the smallest piece of cake at a cafe in Magistral, they want to send me home even though I am a regular when I forget my mobile just once (some other days they didn't even ask for my certificate because everyone in my favorite cafe already knows me).

Too bad I had my laptop with me- with a certificate on it. After all, I never spend money carelessly just for fun, I always tie it in with some work at least.

I go to this cafe regularly with interns, since we are all remote and don't have an office apart from my home office. And I am pissed off by this country and all the shit and generic disrespect for humans in it. 

Spent some of my night talking to the night guard at Prisma 24/7 in Old Town, a young guy who has bad depression and wants to study IT (the classic). 

(He picked me up after I had been set up by Mr. LeCocq at Depeche Mode Baar. Utterly drunk after just one drink (it is more likely my histamine-autoimmune issue than the alcohol, I presume), with no battery, I ended up in the cold after midnight. Completely unaware- because I rarely go out- when busses stop going. It could have ended badly- but I was protected. So I eventually found a plug in Prisma and was allowed to charge my phone there, whilst I had a very pleasant discussion with the young dude, diving into his symptoms.. exciting! After half an hour (and 1,5 hours overall in the cold) I was sober again.)

And it seems only the Estonians who are already sick (or the rare ultra positive ones) dare to talk about the shit that is wrong with this country. And it is A LOT. 

From the corruption that got so bad it was an open topic during the last city council elections.. to the racism and sexual harassment (the first not as yet a real topic, the last at least a topic in popular movies like Uekssarvik).. it disgusts me.

Repulsed by all the dirt I had recently seen, I remembered my roots and remembered what forces I can draw on due to soul age, karma and genetics. 

Fuck you- royalty is royalty and will always BE royalty. This is a VERY clear warning. 

Mind me- I am a neutral good/good is not nice trope. I dispose of shit like Batman does: I don't want or enjoy torture, I just throw trash in the trash quickly and efficiently. 

You see, dear readers- sooner or later all those assholes get what they deserve. And if you are that dumb to cross MY LIFE, you will not get away with shit you have done- either way. 

This is a promise. 

Mold and overpriced rentals for foreigners in Tallinn

Now that I move, and had to deep cleanse the flat, I also moved my bed. 

The fruit press is standing next to the wall I used to sleep next to.  And just for documentation, and to show to people how bad it is here.. I juiced some apples. Didn't have time to empty in the morning, left it til evening. When I opened it- GREEN and BLACK mold like I'd never seen it this way, re. this fast.

I have slept next to that.. THING.. for a year. No wonder my autoimmune didn't get better despite better rest, and I aged fast. I had the feeling there was mold right from the start. And the mold that is showing now is not in the corners.. it is behind the bed, coming from underneath the tapestry.. 

In any other civilised country, I could sue. Not so much here. (phots will follow once I have more time)

Now to the fun part. The emergency room I rented (not even mentioning they now ask for more than when I was shown it!), that is a whopping 6 sqm in a bad and loud district (not posting AS YET the criminal to insulting situations I came across on my search.. trust me, I will) HAS mold. 

I discovered it- just like last time I rented with them. It will get sprayed, but we all know how useful that is. The flat has maybe 75 sqm, shared between 5 students and freelancers. 

Shameful, greedy, and just outright disgusting. Life as a foreigner in Estonia.

Funny that an artist from Graz, who learned that I live here last year, instantly accused me of "exploiting Estonians"- well this WERE true if I WERE a greedy rich person coming here like so many others. Those people are usually tolerated well, but *shocker*, a person who comes here to found a company that will change the world by helping others grow is being fought on all fronts.

Let me be VERY clear on this. I have been abused and exploited on EVERY imaginable front since I came here, I never took any Estonian money. I always had clients from abroad (for many different reasons), and if I worked with Estonians it was for a tiny share of what one of theirs would get. (one exception: the brand voice recording I did for BLOCKER.FI)

And there is a huge amount of videos detailing racism in Estonia on YouTube, if you know where to look. Sexism isn't detailed as well- wait for it. I am DYING to tell my stories.

A while ago my precognition (like all my deep, spiritual gifts its usually used for others, not me) had a vision for me. I was told "Once you leave Estonia, you'll leave only ashes behind". 

I am currently, after an assortment of Top10-20 podcasts that haven't aired yet, in discussions to feature/co-host an episode a Top10 Global Leadership podcast. The host instantly said (he is from the country I see as my destination/destiny): "why don't you come here?" Not like I hadn't pondered that country in specific.

But most first-world countries require at least 2 k USD a month in income for a nomad visa. 

DUDE.. I'd relocate in a heartbeat. 

...

p.s.: as for the Blocker.fi ad: I really don't like my voice!! I know men find it sexy, but I am so not comfortable with it! Maybe if it were healthy, and I wouldn't have breathing issues it would feel and sound better to me. :/