Wrapping Up.

 Still an ENFJ, I see life as a succession of experiments. Some failed, some successful.

In life, some were shockingly successful, some devastatingly unsuccessful.

People misinterpret me and my intentions 90% of the time.

However, as I look back on 5,5 years in Estonia (6 years- 5 months spent in Austria during Covid lockdown), I see that there have been results.

I got shortlisted for an innovation with AI prize. A prestigious one- and, indeed, what we did, just me and a graphic design intern, within 5 months.. was astounding. And astoundingly simple- IF other people would have the benefit of others as much in mind as I had within the last few decades of my life. Most dont.

I declined the nomination. Partially, because those prizes also take a submission fee, but, mostly, because I want to transfer what we learned to a new place, a new format- and improve on it.

There were also many great experiences with Airbnb experience guests, a former intern wrote a thesis on my Nomad walk, and I have gained a tremendous amount of knowledge. 

Nevertheless, I've seen even more of the worst of mankind, which is why I now take an extended break from everything. And ponder.. LIFE. 

I've reached a point where I could make ANYONE- and I MEAN anyone- world-famous. Or expose them. A useful skill. 

Sadly, most are full of ego and shit, so I cannot sell this skill much. 

I built a Linkedin of 8000, that I stopped growing many years ago, when I noticed how vile and fake many of them are. That is NOT success.

Some of them will, though, get an invitation for a PR program I am affiliate for.. let's hope they are worthy. 

My life here, in the new place, will be very different at first. If things don't work out as they should, there is a plan B, and C, and.. somewhere else, abroad.

By now, I always have around 10 different directions I can go in. All roads eventually lead to the same thing, the idea we started from 25 years ago.

But maybe not under the name Vitruvian Vision. We will see. :)

Updates

Mr. B. only wants to be friends.. well. I for my part am tired of either men not being a match or being too scared of me. He wasn't too scared of me.. and if so, the scare was mutual. ;) 

Might not have ended well anyways.. for either side. But I learned a great deal from him. Mainly how to show my claws to people who still think they can be stupid and mess with me. 

In any case, I decided that maybe I should give up the struggle, and stay alone for once. Maybe it is destiny- and I have time to catch up on, and a kickstarter project (now targeting the 25th; Lara had urgent stuff to do so we're late with the video cut) to tend do.

I onboarded two more interns, and we're now complete for promotion/social/project management. A bit late, but if we stay open as for the locations and Covid rules, and can raise the money, it's all still open.

I have support from all subcultures that are dear to me, or resonate with me: Military, LGBTIQ+, Disability, Feminism, Domestic Violence, Empaths, and a few more. SO EXCITED. 

Kickstarter Update.

We will have a kickstarter start end of next week- so far we recorded a video and have an event ad. Lara is still finishing it up. We also recorded a German version for a potential Startnext campaign. 

We need to raise 40.000 Euros, that is covering the basic costs for 28 events- noone earns anything with this sum. Event fees alone are around 28 K. 

For me, it is the last time I will work on a project for others- I have given enough, for too long. If it works out, now that I have support, that's fine.

If it doesn't, I will just start to do all that I still want to do in life. No.1 on my list: GET OUT OF ESTONIA for good. With or without loving someone. Partners can travel in this day and age.. I need to get out before, I quote an Indian developer I once met "this place eats your soul". Yep. It really IS that bad for feeling people here. 

NOT ONE DAY LONGER. 

New positive occurrences.

 When the dude with the Top 10% leadership podcast wanted to interview ME, I was like.. why?!!?

I thought I had something to say about being a young leader 12 years ago, but these days.. I don't think so.

But we will see. I have just spent another two days cleaning like crazy, and unpacking in the new place.

It is not as bad as I first thought- the rent is cheaper, flatmates are super nice, and there are good shops for food and cheap stuff around. AND- a mural! ;) I had asked the cosm to find me one I didn't already know in my area- and its 2 mns. from where I live.

We need it for a photoshoot. So I don't have to run around in the archetype suits in public, and we won't get stares or the like. It's my least favourite part of the job.

PR, for me, mostly serves to promote my project. It is NOT a deep desire of mine to expose/present myself, just like running around in those costumes isn't a fetish, or a hobby, or anything I especially enjoy doing. It is a JOB, and it serves a PURPOSE. Nothing more.

Yes, high level PR placements CAN be gratifying, but it satisfies my hunter instinct more than a notion of being in the "spotlight". It proves to me- again and again- that I am an excellent pitcher with something to say. Even more of an achievement given I am not a Native English speaker. 

I was recently invited to a few more Top podcasts, so stay tuned. :)

Swearing is good for you.

Men. They run after women who want their money, or behave badly until all they want is their money.

I found someone who is truly gifted at writing, and I could have taken some of my 1.200 pages of lyrics out to counter, but wasn't motivated. Actually- the darker it gets around me, the less do I want to sing or write or create. 

I am still in love, but the guy isn't good for me. He had a bad influence on my emotions, and from his blog I can tell I wasn't the only one. 

I can feel his emotions from afar- and as an empath, would react to it. He reminds me of Lena, her intelligence and trauma- and how badly it ended. I don't need another heartbreak- friendship or other. 

Weed helps some people, looking at videos from his ex- but weed has never been my thing. And developing a habit- any habit- my age is kind of pointless. 

Then I found this in my saved screenshots.. much more like my way to vent. I vent instantly, I sometimes vent excessively. ;) Fuck you very much. 

NEW INTERVIEW

Yesterday's interview with a Russian songwriter and psychologist, Maxim Efimov.

I enjoyed this- finally someone appreciative, and knowledgeable on "my topics": art, psychology, spirituality.

The Original was 2 hours of flow that passed in a heartbeat. The only thing I did not get to talk about is how the technology fit into the wholistic band concept.

Enjoy!